10 Ways to Build Your Sexual Confidence

Find the Right Lingerie … for You

Who cares what Gisele Bundchen is wearing? The key to sexy lingerie is finding something that you feel sexy in. So while a thong might work for one woman, perhaps you feel cuter in a pair of boy shorts (especially if you’re a little insecure about your rear view). A leopard print push-up bra might work for Kim Kardashian, but if you’re a little self-conscious, a more subtle lacy number can be just as
titillating.

Dress the Part

Feeling sexy doesn’t start with lingerie — it starts with what you’re wearing before you take your clothes off. For some women, nothing makes them feel hotter than their favorite pair of jeans, whether they’re “skinny” or not. Others love wearing a short(ish) skirt or a curve-hugging dress. Choose an outfit that flaunts the favorite part of your figure and you’ll feel more confident all day long.

Turn Down the Lights

Florescent lighting is nobody’s friend. We’ve learned this the hard way in many a department store fitting room. On the contrary, finding the right lighting for your bedroom can make you look younger and prettier, and conceal any “flaws” you may perceive yourself as having. Light fixtures that illuminate upward are said to be more flattering, as are lower-wattage bulbs and ones with a pretty blush tint. We also love dimmers, lamps, and candles to set the mood.

Wax On, Wax Off

There’s something about having a pedicure that just makes us feel 10 times prettier. The same can be said for shaving your legs, and if you’re feeling really ambitious, brave the pain and treat yourself to a bikini wax. It may sound like a lot of effort, but you’ll be dying to take your clothes off!

Relax

As so many stressed-out, hard-working women know, it’s difficult to feel sexy when you’re completely exhausted. The secret? Make time for you! Ask him to look after the kids while you sleep in one Saturday. Take a relaxing yoga class or sip a glass of wine with dinner. Suddenly, sex might move up a few notches on your laundry list of things to do.

Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

Remember cruising with the high school bad boy? Even when you’re all grown up, there’s something sexy about living just a little bit dangerously. Plan a more-daring-than-usual activity like rock climbing or surfing — anything that gets the adrenaline pumping. Not the sporty type? Experiment with wearing a shorter-than-usual skirt or a top that shows a little more cleavage. Forget the mild manners and send a sexy text to your partner or join him for a racy movie.

Hit the Gym

Research shows that exercise boosts your body image — even if the number on the scale is exactly the same. In 2009, a University of Florida study found that people who exercise but don't lose fat, gain strength or boost cardiovascular fitness feel just as good about their bodies as their fitter peers. So even if you look more or less the same, you’ll feel like you have six-pack abs. And that's hot!

Let Your Mind Wander

Why shouldn’t you be the heroine in your own romance novel? Imagine yourself doing all the sexy things you’d like to do … then do them. Reading a racy book could give you some ideas, or, simply pay attention to your own steamy thoughts. Try keeping a journal … who knows, maybe it will turn out to be the next (erotic) best-seller.

Listen Up

Ask your partner to remind you of all the things he finds sexy about you, for example, your legs, breasts, eyes, smile, behind. Knowing what turns him on will help you to see yourself through his eyes. Then, you can do the same for him

Don't Compare Yourself to Other Women

Just because Jennifer Aniston looks amazing in a bikini doesn’t mean you have to hide under your T-shirt. Comparing yourself to impossibly fit actresses and models — not to mention other women in general — is a recipe for the body blues. Look in the mirror, and take note of what you find sexy about you! You’re sexy and you know it (and he does, too)